Dissociative Identity Disorder
by Fourth in Command Cixalea Jwan
Summary: Dr. Beilshmidt is counseling two patients, and they both have the same psychological disorder -the same disorder he, himself, has as well. Matthew's alternate personality is named Alfred. Feliciano's alternate personality is named Lovino. Human!AU. No pairings. Human names used.


**I've seen some other fics that have something similar in concept to this, but not to this extent. I'm hoping I bring an interesting twist. **

**I do not own Hetalia. Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidakaz.**

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Ludwig sighed as he replaced the bundle of papers back in their assigned manila envelopes. He had to make sure that he didn't forget anything. He was just nervous, he told himself. In reality, he knew those papers inside and out. He felt like he already knew his new patients. Still, he was nervous.

He glanced toward the framed document on the wall. It was his PsyD degree in Counseling Psychology. Top of his class in Psychotherapy, he was told by several of his professors that he would be a second Freud (although that was also probably because he was German).

Displayed shiny and new on the wall, this was Ludwig's first real deal. This wasn't the classroom and there was no other doctor. He was flying solo on this one. He couldn't mess this up. He had to start building himself a reputation. He did also want to make sure that his two patients were helped to the best of his ability. Well, technically there were two patients but he would be dealing with four. It was fine though. It was something he had personal experience with.

_Can the Awesome Me talk to their alters? Pretty please, Ludwig?_

Ludwig cleared his head. He normally answered Gilbert, but he had to be a good example for his patients. Even though Ludwig knew the other voice in his head wasn't real and Gilbert knew he wasn't real, if Ludwig addressed him, they might get the wrong idea.

The door to his office burst open to reveal a pale blonde boy with glasses and a run away curl that bobbed in front of his nose.

"Is this Mr. B's office?" he said with a goofy smile.

He entered the room but was quickly followed by another man, gasping for breath.

"Quiet down, Alfred! You sounded like an elephant running through the halls!"

Ludwig took a moment to gather himself from the intrusion, stand from his chair, and hold out his hand to the teen.

"Hello. Ludwig Beilshmidt. You are Matthew Kirkland, I assume?"

"So you're the shrink? Cool, dude! Nice ta meet 'cha!" He enthusiastically shook the outstretched hand.

"I'm Arthur Kirkland," the second arrival panted. "Matthew is my brother. I'm the one that suggested he see you."

Ludwig transferred his hand to Arthur's.

The teen eyed the couch and wasted no time in flopping down on it, kicking his feet up on the armrest.

"Alfred! Be respectful! Either contain yourself or let Matthew. I can't take any more of your obnoxiousness today."

"Mattie _was_ in control until he got nervous when he got lost in the halls. Don't worry! The hero found the room! It wasn't easy though. This place is huge, dude!"

Ludwig observed with great curiosity. "Matthew, if I may interrupt, I would like to say-"

"I'm actually Alfred," the teen interjected. "Did ya wanna talk ta Mattie? He's here if you need him. Do you wanna meet 'im?"

There was a pause and Arthur's face became red from embarrassment as he said, "I'm sorry. I've tried for years to sort this nonsense out, but nothing has worked."

Ludwig shook his head. "There's no problem. This is why I am here."

Then he turned back to the teen.

"Um, yes. I would like to meet Matthew now. Thank you."

Ludwig could tell that this one was going to be interesting. He wasn't sure if he should acknowledge Alfred or not –depending on whether that would help or worsen his condition.

While he was deciding, "Alfred" blinked and his whole demeanor changed. While he draped himself across the couch like he had no care in the world just moments ago, now he was beginning to cocoon himself into a sitting position –his back slightly hunched over, feet planted on the ground, and his hands folded in his lap. He immediately broke eye contact and aimed his gaze at his shoes. Only every once in a while daring to flick his eyes for a glance at Ludwig.

"Matthew?"

"Y-yes, sir?"

"I am Dr. Beilshmidt, your counselor."

"Y-your not a psychologist?"

"I am. It is my title. However, I am here to give you advice and work with you. "Counselor" just sounds more open and less intimidating than "psychologist.""

"Oh. I didn't mean to say- I was just wondering, uh- m-maybe you should talk to Alfred instead? He's better at this."

"It's fine, Matthew. It was perfectly reasonable to ask. I would prefer to talk to you and Arthur, if it's not too much trouble."

"O-okay."

Arthur sat next to Matthew to offer moral support. This seemed to help as Matthew's hands stopped shaking.

"Now, when did you first experience signs of Dissociative Identity Disorder?"

"…What?"

"When did you become aware of blank spaces in your memory during which others claimed you acted unusual?"

"I don't know. Sometimes Alfred goes places that I wouldn't normally go. He likes to go watch football games at the high school. I get confused when he gives control back to me and I wasn't expecting to be there, but it's a compromise, I guess. I take him to see hockey games sometimes. B-but, most of the time, it's not actually blank. I can observe while he's doing things, but I can't really control any functions. I just sorta float nearby and watch."

"I see. And how long would you say you have been showing up in unplanned places and having these out-of-body experiences?"

"I don't know for sure. I can't remember a time that it hasn't happened. I think he was born with me. We're twins after all."

"Twins? Why do you say that?"

Arthur cringed and gave Ludwig a pitying look.

"Well, we look the exact same so we're technically identical twins. We're two people different people that look alike."

"But, Matthew, twins are two people with two _physical bodies_."

"We share the same body. I think they call that _conjoined_ twins or something."

"I see." Ludwig scribbled on the clipboard. "So you don't mind "sharing" with Alfred?"

"No. Of course not. He's my brother. Sure we get in arguments, but we still love each other."

"So you can hear his voice in your head?"

"When I'm outside and he's in control, I can hear what he says so, sorta?"

"Uh hmm. You mentioned that you argued. What do you argue about?"

"We argue about whether to watch football or hockey and how much maple syrup to put on our pancakes. If he has the remote, I can take brief control and change the channel to whatever I want to watch. Then he usually just changes it right back. He can do the same when I'm in control. Stuff like that."

More furious note-taking.

"Does Alfred ever harm your body? Do you find unexplained cuts or bruises when you regain control?"

"Of course not! Alfred would never do something like that!"

Ludwig was relieved and the scribbling slowed to a calmer pace.

"Do you ever _ask _Alfred to take over for you?"

"Y-yes. Usually whenever I need to meet someone new or whenever I'm some place I've never been before. Alfred's so much better at stuff like that. He loves to talk to people."

"Okay. That's all I need to know for now. Thank you, Matthew. If you would wait outside for just a moment. I would like to talk with your brother –your _older_ brother- about a few things."

Matthew looked to Arthur and he assured him with his eyes. Matthew left and Arthur sunk into the chair in front of Ludwig's desk.

"So do you think you can help him, sir?"

Ludwig looked over his clipboard and nodded.

"Yes. It is an interesting variation of a Dissociative Identity Disorder. The way Matthew and his alternate personality "communicate" is fascinating in the way that it's not schizophrenic. Because of this, however, he believes that Alfred is a real person. The fact that they get along is good as well as the fact that neither one is prone to violent tendencies. However, it is unfortunate in the regard that I will have to prove to Matthew that Alfred does not exist and he does not need him. He runs to Alfred whenever he's nervous or intimidated by unfamiliar surroundings. This is probably the root of his disorder. …Was there any abuse in your household?"

"No, sir!" Arthur's eyes widened at the accusation. "He has just always been painfully shy. I try to encourage him, but-"

"It's alright. There was probably nothing you could have done. There's a reason there are professionals. Don't fear. It will be difficult for Matthew, but I believe I can help him. It is entirely possible that if he gains a sense of his own self-confidence that Alfred might just disappear on his own. However, I would rather be safe and handle this now when he's still an adolescent than when he is older and even more set in his ways. There's not much we know about this mental disorder, but it is possible for a person with DID to live a normal, healthy life."

The relief in Arthur's face was evident.

"Were you made aware as to why I am uniquely qualified to council your brother?"

Arthur's enormous eyebrows were furrowed. "You have DID, too?"

"Yes," Ludwig said, with practiced passiveness. "I was diagnosed later than Matthew, actually. I believe I developed my Alter, my alternate personality, during my undergraduate studies. It was the stress from my schoolwork that most likely triggered it. I would be studying then I would suddenly be in a club somewhere with no memory of how I got there. This happened several times before I started meeting other students who claimed they knew me while I had absolutely no memory of them. They had apparently met my Alter in the clubs where he had introduced himself to them as Gilbert. That's when I began seeking professional help."

"So you're cured?"

"I was not 'cured' necessarily. Gilbert is still there, but I am in complete control. I haven't had a relapse in ten years thanks to my doctor. That is what inspired me to go into psychology."

"So that is what you plan on doing for Matthew?"

"Yes –to the best of my ability."

Arthur smiled. "Thank you, sir. I will bring him by next week at the same time, yes?"

"Yes. I look forward to working with him. Have a nice day, Mr. Kirkland."

When the door closed, Ludwig dug out the worn manila envelope again. He added his newly written notes to the pile and reviewed them again for good measure. This was going to be an interesting few months.

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**I hope you enjoyed that. **

**I did do some researching of DID. (It'd be really hard to write this without.) It's really fascinating. However, I'm not ever 100% sure if I'm portraying it exactly right. But, one thing that kept popping up was that no case of DID is exactly the same just like most other psychological conditions. So give me some grace here on the technical stuff.**

**This has the possibility of becoming a chapter fic if I feel people are interested in it. If not, then it is perfectly fine as a one-shot. Frankly, of all my other fics, this one would be the hardest to continue writing. It's not in the range of stuff I normally do. So, we'll have to see about this one. **

**As always, review and fav if you so desire.**  
**Looking forward to it. **


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